Quasmassy Quasmas!

'I was up at the crack of dawn, all excited to check what Santa had left under the Christmas tree for me and count how many gingerbread men he had helped himself to!' Erm... No I didn't! Like I've mentioned in one of my earlier post... I'm not that crazy yet! Grumbled as I opened my eyes and checked the time – just past 9. Having reminded myself that it was Christmas day I thought it was as good a time as any to try something new and so I set myself the (convenient) challenge of imitating a sloth for as long as I could. I'm sure you can tell what a Christmassy person I am by now! The sloth game lasted for 37 minutes (precisely) after which I proceeded to crawl out of the warm comfy haven that my bed had become. After the usual morning routine (the details of which I am absolutely positive you would not like to know) trotted downstairs to join everyone. Now, being brown has its bonus in the fact that you don't have to carry on with the entire Christmas charade! There's a brownie point right there – don't excuse the pun. 
 

For Christmas breakfast it was a cuppa coffee and a warmed up mince pie (the only reason I look forward to December). After having checked mails and realising nobody loves me (for I had no notifications on fb*- this realisation was followed by me fb stalking a very pretty boy who is a fb friends friend, but I suspect is gay) my friend and I decided to brave the cold and make a snow man! We scraped the snow from the driveway and the cars into a bucket and within the next two hours we had a shamefully obese snowman with its chubby legs spread out in front of it. Deciding that our snowman clearly needed some fruit in its diet, it was ornamented with lychees for eyes and a strawberry for a nose! Mashed up some bananas and mixed it with rose syrup to give our snowman a sinister smile with blueberries for 3 rotten teeth – must be all those gingerbread men it ate when I looked away! To keep it warm I lent it my ridiculous purple hat and gloves and a pair of shoes at the end of its legs! We,my friend and I, grooved our intials into the snowmanschest and filled it with the banana rose syrup 'stuff' .. oh yes, our snowman had tattoos! ;) By the time we got back into the house my knees and fingers were all numb and red, but it was totally worth it!

Lunch was essentially an elaborate process of me stuffing my face with all the good food my aunt had made. For the first time in a long time I consciously ate my way through countless 'pooris' and servings of rich curry. I ate till my stomach ached, as disgusting as that may sound it was amazing! (I can see you roll your eyes and judge me... had you been there I'm sure you'd have eaten just as much if not more! :P ). The ritual of 'face-stuffing' was followed by me lazing in the living room and watching 'Dancing in the Rain', 'Shrek 3', 'Gruffalo', 'Home Alone' and a quick snooze coz the food had literally gone to my head! Before I knew it... Time for dinner! Nom nom nom!!

In the company of my family friends I've had a very Merry Quasmas, the sloth-game and everything! Hope yours was too!

** For all you who have been living under a rock fb means Facebook

P.S. - As someone recently pointed out, its only X'mas for exs!

The White Menace

It had just past midnight. I laid in bed unable to sleep when it started. It was beautiful and exciting. Right outside my window I could see it in the yellow light of the street lamps. White, pure and the first sign of what was going to be something of a hellish winter! If you've spoken to me lately, you've probably rightly guessed... it was snow! I remember how happy it made me, and I'm sure (read as hope) I wasn't the only one.

Glasgow doesn't normally get a lot of snow. It does get terribly cold every winter but the pure white flakes somehow haven't often favoured the city in the past. It got me thinking that night whether the snow would stick (to the ground I mean!). To my surprise - and the dismay of many others - stick it did! It wreaked havoc all over Britain over the next few week! Headlines read 'Frozen Britain' (BBC being all melodramatic to be honest... as if no other place Earth has ever seen a couple of inches of snow!). The British (me included - before you go accusing me of racism!) moaned and grumbled - whilst sicking cups of tea from their perfect china set - about planes and trains being postponed, cancelled. The very possibility of presents being delivered after Christmas Day will surely make all those 4 year olds weary of trusting Santa ever again (I'm so sorry if you are 4 years old or Santa... or neither but believe in Mr. Claus!) The ability to just suck it up and get on with life doesn't seem to have been encoded in the human genome of many.

Fair enough if you had a holiday booked to go to Egypt and that got cancelled coz the plane companies decided it was too risky for you to fly and all your booking and reservations on the other side got cancelled with no refunds. Yes, in that case you may moan till your patient listener goes deaf.

White Menace aka Snow

Dwink on the shelf

I am, at present, a teetotaller. Putting it in context the urban dictionary says a teetotaller is 'Someone who does not drink at all usually for health, religious or personal reasons; not just because they are short on cash or their wife pokes them good in the eye with a broom for coming home drunk.' No, I didn't wake up one fine morning with a black eye from my wife – mainly coz I have no wife! Nor did I decide in a fit of boredom that I shall give up the -OH group for a year just for the fun of it... I'm not that crazy (yet!). It's a resolution I committed to after an occurrence at some point earlier this year. Nevertheless, I've never been what you may call a 'drinker'. I'd fall under the category of an occasionally occasional 'drinker'. End of exams, birthdays, meeting an old friend... that sorta drinker. The drinker that needs a valid enough reason to tax her liver and slaughter her brain cells!

Be that as it may, despite not being a regular alcohol consumer, the past two months have highlighted the times alcohol acts more as a social glue than merely a way of loosing you inhibitions – though granted the latter may make the former less of an effort! My house mate now sticks to lemonade when we go to the movies or grab a random bit, because, as she puts it, Drinking alone is just sad! So lets scratch out parties, end of exam celebrations, congratulatory parties and any other celebration that includes drinking and bonding over slurred speech and finding absolutely everything funny especially when its not. You're bound to get frowned upon if you mingle with a bunch of highly intoxicated folk and not join in on the criss-crossed walk!

Do I sound like I'm moaning? I really don't mean to... It just comes naturally with being a moody cow! :P Teetotalism isn't all that bad. Where should I start...! Well, for starters, my mum is well proud of me. That's not to imply that she wasn't before I 'teetotalled'! Guess she's a big fan of brain cells and a healthy liver. I suppose, so she's relieved to an extent... at least for the next year! The whole self-control argument holds in this case as well. The temptation to join in and the discipline to not... so far so good! Oh and plus there's the ££ benefits! Yes, -OH is more expensive than it would seem when you've had a few! Spending £30 for a 'night on the tiles' doesn't seem all that 'reasonable' a price to pay for a banging headache the next morning and when the slightest ray of light is like a gift from Satan! There's the added benefit of improving you social skills by meeting people when you're plain, dry sober and 'breaking the ice' without falling on them as you try to stand up! Discovering fluids that aren't just water, milk or coffee.. now there's a surprise! A friend of mine got me something that for all intents and purposes is non-alcoholic bubbly... so I don't feel 'left-out'! Oh I feel special! Lol!

It's a social tool... and an amazing one at that! In my world, however, its sitting on the shelf till October! :)

Off to catch a bus n a smoothie! Till l8r xx